Sam and I are in a taxi heading for Robinsons Ermita and this song is playing on the cabbie’s radio:

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

And again we ask each other a question that has come across our minds before and have often discussed:

Bakit ba pag adik ang gumawa at kumanta ng love song asahan mong tatamaan ka talaga? Dagdag pa ni Sam, “Imagine-in mong kinakantahan ka ni Steven Tyler niyan, maniniwala ka bang seryoso siya?”

I don’t wanna miss one smile
I don’t wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Steven TylerI wouldn’t mind, I answer. He don’t look so bad. These jaded eyes see past the papain-treated skin and the moussed up hair of these newbie singers, talented though they may be. These ears strain past the sugar-coated grace notes that seem to say “listen to me mama, I sing so good.” Not for me these singers who seem to focus more on perfecting their vocal techniques, no. I want someone who will sing to me from the depths of his being. And Steven Tyler, he reaches out to my jaded soul, takes my hand and tells me “it’s ok, everything’s going to be fine, and i’ll break the neck of anyone who tries to hurt you.”

And no soul could’ve been more jaded than mine, at one point, half a decade ago. Tortured with the angst and legalistic twists of annullment and the anguish of being denied the company of my sons, I was up in my flat alone, down with the flu and pharyngitis and refusing to take antibiotics because they did strange things to me. A doctor who knew my aversion for them tsk-tsked over the phone earlier while I was still at the office and prescribed Strepsils and Bactidol. Another friend called shortly before I decided to give up and go home, and I told him about the Strepsils and Bactidol prescription, but not to worry because there was a pharmacy along the way to my flat.

And that friend showed up, later at my flat, armed with Strepsils and Bactidol, because wouldn’t you know, I forgot to stop by the pharmacy on my way home. And he fed me the lozenges and made me gargle, and put me to bed and I closed my eyes at the sight of him watching over me. When I woke up in the morning he was still there, in the exact same posture as he had been when I fell asleep, watching over me.

And wouldn’t you know, he’s still here with me holding my hand, in the taxi heading for Robinson’s Ermita.

I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

This is my 100th post, Sam. This is for you.


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21 thoughts on “J-J-J-Jaded

  1. chmmmm dili na lang ko magtell kay maibog lang ko take note IBOG dili *libog* na tagalog hehehe
    may na lang naa koy kras hahaha murag hayskul nagkras kras

    hello maia!

  2. Darling, you always say it best. I could combine all the love songs we know or cut and paste our favourite Pablo Neruda poems, but I just can’t find the right words to say what I feel about this post. But alas, I just have to console myself in our belief that our love is best felt than defined. Thanks for everything darling, my life, my peace, our Maia…A.M.M.I.B.S.B.

  3. Day, hindi ko malaman kung ngingiti ako o “may i barf to the sweetness” hah!

    the 2 of you gave new meaning to electronic p.d.a! double hah!

    “may i turn my back from scandalous pda muna and say some tidbit about this song, my observation rather….
    …. steve tyler expressed it well coz it was written for his daughter – diba, iba ang dating?

    o sya — may i barf lang muna ako sa doon sa malayo

    –equally jaded — me!

  4. WOW!Tita Bambit and Tito Sam, talo ang love story ko…sana when we get to your age sing sweet nyo pa rin kaming mag-asawa. What’s the secret?

    Nabanggit ko ang inspiring words mo sa latest entry ko. I’m back to my regular blogging mood… happy na naman!!!

  5. mari – sis wag ikaw inggit, make your own love story happen!

    touchkey – i bet mas kuyaw ang love story sa imong mama ug papa, beh pangutan-a daw

    alma – mas matamis pa sa pinya sa bukidnon!

    ayeza – kras kras diha, ikaw ba daw hatag ug proposal beh…

    sealdi – bantog ra sigi kog pangatol dinhi kay daghan na man diay ko pinaakan

    rina – diabetic na kaming lahat … sana kayo rin

    AnP – matagal na akong stalker sa blog mo, dahil suki rin ako nina Luchie and Ruth 🙂 thanks for the visit!

    Lanee – araguuuuyyyy kasakit ihilak ug bangkaw oi!

    Jeanie-potpot – haysus as if hindi mo pa kilala da me, eh nung elementary pa tayong ganyan! (friends, Jean is a classmate from my grade school days, Mater Carmeli School in D. Tuazon, Quezon City)

    Teacher Sol – sabi pa nina John Lennon at Paul McCartney: “All you need is love, love … Love is all you need.”

    Sam – ano nga yung definition mo ng love? kahit napakalawak ng isang bangko, nagsisiksikan parin ang nagmamahalan. A.M.M.I.B.S.B.

  6. ha ha nainggit na naman si Ka Punzi! hayyy.. bambit, ka sweet naman! wish all the best for both of you, and for the kids!


  7. ay… ‘nga pla… i also like that song. bakit nga ang gagaling nilang kumanta, ‘no? nanunuot sa kung saan. he he

  8. awwwwwwwwwwwwww

    ang sweeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    to da bones!

  9. aww sis… ang sweet!!!

    love unfolds in mysterious ways talaga no??? am sooo happy din na he’s still there, ready to hold your hand when you want/need him to


    uyy… malapit kami ni mari sa rob place ermita :p

  10. day am back… naibog sya day or ang effect to sa tambal…
    grabe ni istorya da 😉
    happy for you that you found happiness second time round!

  11. bambs… i must confess… i cried torrents over this entry. Why? I walked the same path. I just got done with my own set of hurdles quite recently. I empathize with you and know how it feels. I am almost convinced managsoon ang atong isig ka kalag. Mare… idol kita. I’m still writing but I wish i still do poetry. i miss you, Nay.

  12. hello, mare!

    kumusta? i lost your email address when just one day my old yahoo email addy just so suddenly could not be accessed. Anyway… my new ym id would be I would want to change that but lots of people know it and still contact me through there. Add me naman.

    Take care of yourself and say hello to the not so young kids anymore. Love you and miss you, Mare. KAYE

    P.S. if you have time check out my friendster page. search See how your godchild — Gabriel Miguel looks at 11 today. 😉

  13. Hi ka-yeee! now that is a long while indeed, i thought this post had been buried and all but here you are right where you were the last time! I looked through your photo album and the boys are huge– has it really been that long…

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