While it’s true the pain infidelity unleashes is devastating it’s equally as true that allowing yourself continuous suffering is optional. That’s according to Suzie Johnson on her website goasksuzie.com. It may be true that victims of infidelity always swear that they never saw it coming. I am more of the belief that they did see the signs of infidelity, but were either too scared or too proud to admit it. I say that from experience, both personal and from that of people I have had the privilege of knowing.

While it may be inordinately simple to catch cheating spouses, some people may actually be deathly afraid of doing so. Confirmation of an extramarital affair is much more serious and brings far more complications to a relationship that just the suspicion of. I remember the time when I had thought that the whole thing was my fault, that if I had been a better wife this wouldn’t have happened, that even if I had proven beyond doubt that the signs of a cheater which had been laid out right in front of me were all true it would still be my fault.

And it being my fault I would refuse infidelity support for my kids, once I had filed for annulment. There had been no offers and I never asked for any.

One thing I do know now, after I had been given a second chance at life, love and family, is that infidelity is never the fault of just one spouse. Happiness is something couples work at on a daily basis, and if infidelity finds its way into that calendar then there’s something very wrong with that schedule.

Suffering is optional

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